The Everlasting Prankster Gods
by MysteriousMissSirius
Summary: A series of one-shots about the Marauders and their pranks.


**A hairy Hogwarts day**

"Prongs, I'm bored," said Sirius.

The four Marauders were currently doing their homework in the Gryffindor tower. For almost a whole hour, their heads had been bent over their potions essays, scribbling down words or sucking on the backs of their quills. Every now and then, James would shoot a glance at a certain redhead, sitting across the common room. But studying for an entire hour had been too much, at least for Sirius.

"So am I, Paddy, so am I," James answered, throwing down his quill. "I'm sick of this. Let's do something exciting!"

Peter's head snapped up at this. His whole face was red, from concentrating on the potions essay he was doing. James, Sirius and Remus had promised to help him, if he at least first tried to do it himself.

"Yes, let's please do something!" he maundered.

Remus too, dropped his quill. An hour had been enough, even for him.

"What are you planning on," he asked his partners in crime.

Sirius leaned back in his chair, thinking. "How about playing another prank on Minnie?"

"But we did that just three days ago," Remus retorted. "Can't you come up with something new?"

"Like what?" James asked. "We did almost everything one can imagine during our previous four years here."

"So what are you planning on doing the rest of this year, then? Or the following two?" Peter remarked.

"Pete's got a point, we really need to come up with new pranks," said Sirius.

All four of them went silent for a moment, thinking of new possible pranks.

Then, James's eyes brightened. "Lads, how about this one…"

All four of them put their heads together over the table they were sitting at. The rest of that evening was spent planning and searching through the potions books out which they were supposed to learn.

…

"Wormy, get off my foot!"

"Sorry, but we cannot be seen! Why did we grow so much? The four of us don't fit under the cloak anymore."

"This will probably be the only time I'll ever encourage this, but Peter, please change into your animagi form and climb on my shoulder. It will make everything a lot easier."

"Don't you like us helping you, Moony?" Sirius asked, giving Remus his best puppy eyes. Meanwhile, Peter did as he was told and climbed on Remus's shoulder.

"I can't tell you how much that means to me, but it still remains dangerous and most of all, illegal!"

"That's what we are Marauders for," said James, who had been staring at the Marauder's Map all the while. "The coast is clear, guys, let's go!"

No four students had ever crept so silent through the dungeons of Hogwarts, to prepare a potion that would have wonderful effects.

…

Not even half an hour later, the painting guarding the entrance to the Hogwarts kitchens spookily moved aside. None of the house elves looked up though, for all of them had seen this often enough to know what was going on. And indeed, seconds later, three boys appeared out of nowhere. One of them reached up to a rat, sitting on his shoulder, and put the little animal on the ground. When it began to grow, and transformed into a wizard, some house elves however came to have a closer look. Most of them seemed terrified, though one seemed particularly concerned.

"Master Peter has been transformed into a rat. Masters Remus, Sirius and James have just helped him to become a boy again. Good masters. Help their friend. But Chalky will not allow this. Chalky will punish the wizard hexing Master Peter. Please, do tell Chalky who did such a horrible thing."

Chalky, an as his name implies rather pale but very kind house elf, had been a friend of the infamous Marauders ever since they first sneaked into the kitchens (which would be their 5th day of school). He had large ears, which almost looked like bat wings, and big grey eyes. He would always become very happy whenever the Marauders visited the kitchens, because they liked informing the house elves about their latest adventures in the school. And every time, Chalky would listen in awe until the very end, while every other house elf in the kitchen had already gone back to work.

The four friends, on their side, liked Chalky too. He had been their partner in crime thrice, and had once witnessed against them when McGonagall had caught them. Whenever they visited the kitchens, Chalky would offer them everything eatable in his reach. Sirius had even gotten over his aversion to house elves by seeing the sunny little creature Chalky was.

"Chalky, calm down. Peter has not been hexed. This is some advanced magic, which allows us to turn into animals at will. But you can't tell anyone! It has to remain our secret!"

"Chalky will guard this secret with his life, Master James," the little house elf answered. Even though the Marauders had asked him often enough, he refused to drop the 'masters' while addressing them.

"Good, Chalky, we need your help," Sirius said. "We would like to know where Dumbledore stocks the pumpkin juice we drink during dinner."

Chalky, seeing the mischievous glints in the four pairs of eyes in front of him, immediately showed them the way.

…

That evening, James, Sirius, Remus and Peter entered the Great Hall excitedly. They couldn't wait for a great evening to start.

Only seconds after they had settled at the Gryffindor table, the food appeared on the silver trays. So did the pumpkin juice. As all the other students in the Great Hall helped themselves to food and drinks, the four fifth year Gryffindors exceptionally poured water in their goblets. Then they started eating and talking as if nothing was going on.

…

Amos Diggory would be the first one to notice, since he spent every day three hours in front of the mirror of his dorm. "My head is itching," he remarked, a comment which would be ignored by everyone, except the Marauders, who had been waiting for such statements.

While he was rubbing his head, another Hufflepuff sitting next to him looked up from his plate.

But when he stared at Amos, he was startled. "Amos, what happened to your hair, man?" he asked. Amos meanwhile noticed there was indeed something going on with his mop of hair. It seemed to be about 3 inches longer! Desperately, he looked around the Hufflepuff table for help, but meanwhile he noticed something even stranger. Almost everyone's hair looked longer than it had been when they had entered the Great Hall.

Meanwhile, more people started to notice the hair-oddity. Most of them started pointing at each other and started laughing. The Slyterins, however, were shooting rather exasperated looks towards the Gryffindor table.

By the time the whole Great Hall realized what was going on, all the boy's hair reached their elbows, where the girl's hair came close to their calves.

Various glints were shot towards the four Marauders, either amused or furious. Since they turned out to be the only people with normal hair length, it was obvious who had played the prank. Of course, there never had been any doubt, but this time they had proof.

After a few minutes, in which every single person's hair grew another 3 inches, a lot of yelling was heard, especially from Lily's seat and the Marauders fell of their chairs laughing, Dumbledore rose from his seat.

His usually impressive beard had developed in a giant, bushy, white bunch of hair, falling from his chin until far beneath his toes. At the sight of this, Sirius and James had to clamps their sides to not die from laughter. They'd never know their potion would have this lovely effect on beards.

"Gentlemen, ladies, can I have your attention please?" Dumbledore proclaimed with a twinkle in his eyes. It took four more minutes and 7 more inches to finally calm the whole crowd down.

"As you can all see, there has been a little issue with our dinner tonight. I will personally have a word with the persons responsible for this," he eyed the four mischievous Gryffindors who were cheering at his speech, "and they won't come off easily. Meanwhile, professor Slughorn will brew an antidote. Now will you all remain calm, please? Thank you."

After this speech, professor Slughorn, who had never been seen before with hair on his head, left the Great Hall and set off towards the dungeons. Professor McGonagall meanwhile called the Great Hall silent, but as she rose, even more commotion rose. McGonagall's typically tight bun had outgrown completely and her hair reached almost reached her knees. If they hadn't had already, the Marauders were now having troubles breathing because they were laughing so hard.

No dinner had ever been so amusing. Except perhaps the legendary food fight in their second year. Or the time when they had replaced every food plate by Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans.

The fun didn't last forever, though.

Only half an hour later, when the entire floor of the Great Hall was covered with people's hair, professor Slughorn entered the Great Hall again. Behind him walked an army of house elves, all of them armed with scissors.

First, Slughorn distributed the antidote, making every student's hair growth normal again. Then the house elves started cutting everybody's hair.

The house elves, though, weren't as obedient as usual, since Chalky had convinced them all to side along with the Marauders. They started cutting the Slytherins hair first, but they didn't gave them the haircuts the they asked for. Any student who rose from the barber chair appeared to have the oddest haircuts one could imagine.

By the time this was noticed by Dumbledore, who had been talking to professor McGonagall, every Slytherin had various, hideous hairstyles, except for Regulus (since Sirius had asked Chalky to not make fun of the Gryffindors, nor his brother).

Some Slytherins tried to hex the four boys who were responsible for this, but McGonagall stopped them and lost them 50 house points, which enlarged the fun even more.

Eventually, their hairdos were turned back to normal, but the Marauders had never had such a good time before!

… (twenty minutes later)

"Minnie must be sick!" James said. The Marauders had just exited Dumbledore's office, and were now taking off towards the kitchens, to thank Chalky for his help.

"What makes you think so?" Remus asked.

"Moony, we got off with one single detention! What are we supposed to do the rest of the month?"

Sirius grinned. "We could cause some trouble. Perhaps we gain enough detentions then to dispel the boredom of this month."

"You guys are unbelievable. We just got off with only one detention and a warning to 'behave like the mature, intelligent wizards we are' and you are planning getting in trouble again?"

"Aw, c'mon Moony," Sirius moaned. "Don't say you don't like the pranking. I know you love it!"

Remus indeed couldn't deny this.

"What are we going to do after we thanked Chalky?" Peter asked.

"First, we're going to eat all the stuff he gives us, and then" as James looked through one of the windows in the corridor his eyes started sparkling, "we go back to the dungeons to get some more of our dear potion. I think we might have forgotten someone."

The three fellow troublemakers followed his gaze though the window, to see a giant man with black bushy hair raking his pumpkin field.

Simultaneously, four devilish grins appeared on their faces.


End file.
